pride goeth before a brawl
disclaimer: I might be incoherent. Working non-stop for 10 days to get your house in order to be shown + booze + ativan because all that + stress and PMS could be teh eebhvul. But now I am sitting in my pristine new family room and it is soooo peaceful. I am ignoring the parentalspousal unit making comments about how he gave up trying to have us not live in squalor for the last ten years. I can't wait to prove him wrong about the new house and how it will stay clean and pristine because we will have space. everyone keeps implying that I'm naive and of course it will get messy and the more space you have the more shit you accumulate but I will prove them all wrong. I may not have a high profile job right now but goramit if I don't mean business in the homemaking department. Fuckyasall as my sistah would say.
What I'm really here for is to exorcise somedemonsnegative energy. It got the better of me last night. See, my brother-in-law had been up here helping us get the house ready to be shown. we had loaned him money to move east to join his girlfriend (sound familiar? Not a soul mate this time though. I think just a mother figuremeal ticket. $3000 to be exact. No sign of it bein repaid, so Hubby came up with a novel idea, work it off by helping us get the house on the market.
I will spare the long background story. All you need to know is the following descriptors:(and this is both of them by the way)
pride
arrogance
stubborness
anger
abused as a child
get defensive to the point where the most stupid thing is a threat to your well being.
They got into blows. D got pissed at being told what he'd been doing "wrong" and said "get the fuck out of my house...G, make sure he is packed and gone..." (this is the point where my anxiety kicks it up a notch and I enter this quasi-dissociative state.) Hubby storms off. B starts to check facts and measurements. He discovers he might be wrong about some stupid part of the argument. Hubby comes back down ranting about brother leaving his house. Bother says "why don't we take this outside..." then all is a blur and my husband is screaming to call 911.
This isn't my house. We don't call the police. We don't have domestic disturbances. I yell at them to cut it out. They are wrestling standing up in my foyer, bouncing against walls. My husband is screaming at me to call the police, but I am frozen. How can I call the police to my house. This is his brother. We all love each other. B would never hurt him. I can't do this to B.
But I think about how much he has been drinking all week. I hear my husband screaming at me. So I call.
I enabled him. I love him, he is a friend and a confidant. I didn't want to see or believe anything was wrong. I still don't want to. I am so broken into bits over the whole thing, especially when I think about it. What if he genuinely meant "go outside" so as to not disturb my kids. which was a whole nother can of worms as I had to comfort them as they heard everything and saw the police, who took brian away under protective custody.
We haven't heard from him. We know he got home on his flight. His girlfriend implied we "Should have known this would happen." well, no we never thought he would charge and hit his brother. He lived here for four months and did our kitchen and drank a lot of beer but was never violent. So now he is back there, unemployed (which is why he came up to work off the debt) and drinking. God knows what we should "expect" will happen. I am so so sad. and confused, because I hesitated to call, to support my husband, because he has a tendency to overreact, and has a temper. It was his whole "get the fuck out of my house" that started it. I felt I had some allegiance to Brian. but then I realized that was wrong. I needed to be on my husband's side no matter what. But is that right? I still feel bad. Brian allegedly said to his sister, about him attacking D, "G said that?" He has no idea what he did. But the thing that nags at me is I didn't see the initial contact. who put hands on who. who was reacting? what was alpha posturing? But D had scratches on his face, and huge bruise on his arm that is still there a week later.
My daughter was devastated. Her older brother a bit more worldly and mature about it, the little one, too young to understand. I held her as she cried and tried to explain it was kind of like where she and her brother both get stubborn fighting and don't want to give in, and then come to me asking me to pick sides, and in this case the police say the same thing, "It's not our business, work it out yourselves."
Right now my house is quiet and cleaner than it's ever been. The Celtics are down by two. Tomorrow is the last day of school. I can't wait to sleep for hours. I hope someone who saw my house today makes an offer.
What I'm really here for is to exorcise some
I will spare the long background story. All you need to know is the following descriptors:(and this is both of them by the way)
pride
arrogance
stubborness
anger
abused as a child
get defensive to the point where the most stupid thing is a threat to your well being.
They got into blows. D got pissed at being told what he'd been doing "wrong" and said "get the fuck out of my house...G, make sure he is packed and gone..." (this is the point where my anxiety kicks it up a notch and I enter this quasi-dissociative state.) Hubby storms off. B starts to check facts and measurements. He discovers he might be wrong about some stupid part of the argument. Hubby comes back down ranting about brother leaving his house. Bother says "why don't we take this outside..." then all is a blur and my husband is screaming to call 911.
This isn't my house. We don't call the police. We don't have domestic disturbances. I yell at them to cut it out. They are wrestling standing up in my foyer, bouncing against walls. My husband is screaming at me to call the police, but I am frozen. How can I call the police to my house. This is his brother. We all love each other. B would never hurt him. I can't do this to B.
But I think about how much he has been drinking all week. I hear my husband screaming at me. So I call.
I enabled him. I love him, he is a friend and a confidant. I didn't want to see or believe anything was wrong. I still don't want to. I am so broken into bits over the whole thing, especially when I think about it. What if he genuinely meant "go outside" so as to not disturb my kids. which was a whole nother can of worms as I had to comfort them as they heard everything and saw the police, who took brian away under protective custody.
We haven't heard from him. We know he got home on his flight. His girlfriend implied we "Should have known this would happen." well, no we never thought he would charge and hit his brother. He lived here for four months and did our kitchen and drank a lot of beer but was never violent. So now he is back there, unemployed (which is why he came up to work off the debt) and drinking. God knows what we should "expect" will happen. I am so so sad. and confused, because I hesitated to call, to support my husband, because he has a tendency to overreact, and has a temper. It was his whole "get the fuck out of my house" that started it. I felt I had some allegiance to Brian. but then I realized that was wrong. I needed to be on my husband's side no matter what. But is that right? I still feel bad. Brian allegedly said to his sister, about him attacking D, "G said that?" He has no idea what he did. But the thing that nags at me is I didn't see the initial contact. who put hands on who. who was reacting? what was alpha posturing? But D had scratches on his face, and huge bruise on his arm that is still there a week later.
My daughter was devastated. Her older brother a bit more worldly and mature about it, the little one, too young to understand. I held her as she cried and tried to explain it was kind of like where she and her brother both get stubborn fighting and don't want to give in, and then come to me asking me to pick sides, and in this case the police say the same thing, "It's not our business, work it out yourselves."
Right now my house is quiet and cleaner than it's ever been. The Celtics are down by two. Tomorrow is the last day of school. I can't wait to sleep for hours. I hope someone who saw my house today makes an offer.
posted by Sabine at 11:03 PM
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